RELATIONSHIPS AND EGO

January 28, 2008 at 9:07 am Leave a comment

Qt :  RELATIONSHIPS AND EGO
Sri Sri:
Okay.  This may be advice for couples also.  For couples.  For a man ego is very important.  Especially in front of wife.  (laughter)  The woman should take care that she does not squash the ego of the husband.  You know, if a woman squashes the husband’s ego, he becomes like vegetable, without any….(laughter) He becomes weak.  Like a creeper, for a creeper to go around, it needs a stick, a support, and a creeper can hang on to that.   So similarly, a woman’s greatest need is to manage, or skill, is to manage the ego of the husband. Do not belittle man. You keep pumping him, because that is where he looks for the support.  Especially, you know?, especially when the woman squashes the ego of the husband, he feels weak, he cannot function.  So for the man to function, the wife should nourish the ego of the husband (laughter) not the other, I mean not letting him nourish his own ego.  If you nourish his ego, he doesn’t try to nourish his own ego.  Similarly, a man should not squash the feelings, emotions, of the woman.  Feelings, sentiments are pretty important.  For man it doesn’t matter—sentiment.  He doesn’t care for it.  But the woman is very sentimental especially when it comes to her parents or her bothers, or someone very  close relative of hers.  And a man should not snub them, smash them or do anything with the close relatives or people, friends with whom she is sentimentally or emotionally attached.  Do you see what I am saying? Also religious…a woman is very religious.  Her religion should not be squashed.  You should–don’t make her rational. (laughter)  She does some rituals, something spiritual or religious, don’t say what is this nonsense.  That is her way of expressing light.  So man should take care of the sentiments of woman.  Woman should take care of the ego of man.  The ancient vedic days, the day of wedding, marriage, the husband touches the feet of the woman, his wife, he bows down to the wife….I keep all my respect, prestige, my ego, everything at your feet,..now you take care of it.  Don’t make me bow down anywhere else in the world.  And you husband, then he pulls her toe and brings her on a rock and makes her step on the rock and says, you be like a rock.  I know your emotions goes up and down, but if you are like a rock, our family can move on that.  So these are ancient ways that people used to take vows.  The rituals are very meaningful, there is some meaning in that.  Similarly when the bride enters the home, they throw a pot of rice, she has to kick a pot rice in the house.  That means the abundance, let there be fertility, abundance in the home.  I think that is also in the Christian tradition, throw the rice.  They are throwing rice when you step into the home.  This was sign of abundance.

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Qts and Answers – Guru Purnima 2002 – Montreal Ashram Accept the World at its Worst

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